FEC Kicks Off Series of Formal Endorsements with Inagural Honor of Chartwell's Dining Services

If, dear reader, you have the distinctly unique pleasure of attending Bard College at Simon’s Rock, you will have, by now, received, read, rejoiced about, and possibly been moved to tears of excitement by, the email regarding Fuck the Environment Club’s first formal endorsement. We here at FEC intend that this endorsement be the first of many, meant to honor and call attention to social movements, policies, and noteworthy individual actions that we believe wholeheartedly and earnestly work towards and reflect the mission that we endeavor to undertake. This post, here, serves as both a repetition and a spreading of the announcement. We would have called a press conference, but frankly, it’s been a busy week. In the future, we do hope to muster the resources to organize such events, and clearly, such would serve the dual function of spreading the word and directly furthering the mission. But, for now, we’ve got better things to do. The globe isn’t gonna warm itself, and, if it need even be said, nature certainly cannot control itself as it must be controlled.

But, onto the meat of the post -- the official, press-release-style, announcement:

Today, the Fuck the Environment Club wishes to formally announce its support of the policy held by the Simon's Rock branch of Chartwell’s College and University Dining Services; the policy, as presented on signs around the dining hall, reads, "Please take a new plate when returning for seconds!" We feel that this policy is a perfect example of the many small things that we, and all people, can do to help make the world a better place for humanity, and the mindset it reflects places Chartwell's wholly in line with FEC's mission. Thus, they have earned our earnest support and admiration.

When you take a moment to think about it, how hard is it, really, to get a new plate? And in relation to how enormously important and worthwhile the goal it serves really is, how can one not act? We ask you, with the respect and dignity deserved of every person, to please, get a new plate for seconds. And thirds, and fourths. It helps, whether you believe it or not. It truly does. And for God's sake, you've earned the right to not have to eat a hamburger on a bun made soggy and moist by the ketchup of your first plate of fries.

There really is so much you can do, but we always make a point to shine light on one of the most immensely easy, immensely useful, and immensely important things that you, a human being who cares, can do. Leave your lights on. It's so easy -- you don't even have to turn a switch. I like to think of it as being similar to the reasonable and benevolent bequest of the ancient God-king Xerxes of Persia, who speaks thus: "Unlike the cruel Leonidas who asks you to stand, I demand only that you kneel." Why stand? Especially when kneeling is so eminently practical.

That there are more indirect benefits goes without saying. Primarily, and most importantly for me, it saves money by adding security. You wouldn't want those... less savory types to know precisely when you're gone, so they can rob you of the goods and gadgets that you've earned. And by making sure that you're not buying those ugly, harsh, toxic CFLs, you can make your home a warmer, more welcoming place for the right people. Besides, after a long day at the office and a slow, boring, iPod-less commute in that terrifyingly old, uncomfortable, featureless H1 that doesn't even smell like new car smell anymore, do you really want to stumble around in the dark, wasting precious time and harming precious shins, and delaying that luscious, welcoming, beautiful bottle of Cabernet that you should have opened last weekend when that new 'family' moved in across the street and invited themselves to your bi-monthly dinner party? Times are tough, you've needed to cut back, and now you only get two a month, and one was ruined. That's terrible. Unforgivable. We get it. But the point is this:

There is nothing more important in life than comfort. And it's the little things that make your life comfortable. Don't sacrifice them to some misguided, anti-human movement.

Meanwhile, FEC will continue its efforts, making the world a better place by putting the world in its place.

--Jeff